Take Charge of Your Fears

We all have "those moments" come up. The moments that seem to paralyze our bodies and minds, shake up all notions of who we are, and to suggest that we don't have what it takes. FEAR. Whatever form it takes and however daunting it appears, fear actually isn't a bad four-letter word. When fear comes up in life, it presents a unique opportunity for us to learn and to grow. We all have fears, and whether they stop us in our tracks or propel us forward toward what we want---depends on what we do with them.

There is a tendency to want to ignore fears, fix them, and hope they'll go away on their own without the attention they're asking for. We can start to believe that the messages the fears seem to be sending us are true, and we seek to avoid them even further. On top of that, there are often internally- and externally-sparked messages that if we feel fear, that we're weak and lacking in courage.

The truth is, there can be no courage in life without fear. There also can't be real excitement, determination, enjoyment, and pride. Squashing out the natural emotion of fear in life tends to squash out life in general and limits how we express ourselves as unique individuals. When fear is knocking loudly on the door, it's asking us to open up to something new in life, and it's often something that we're ready to handle at that point. If we ignore the fear, it keeps knocking anyway while waiting to be noticed. Eventually, we can start to feel scared of even being afraid and this suppression takes up much of our time and energy.

There is no solution to fear, and there doesn't need to be. Fear is a natural and potentially energizing part of life, and its source in the body is closely tied to the same place excitement comes from too. Both the feelings of fear and excitement release similar hormones and neurotransmitters in the body. Instead of letting fears take us over and rule how we live, we can learn to take more charge of them. Acknowledging fears as part of reality allows us to take pressure off of ourselves and the need to be perfect. Instead, we can learn our way through the scary experiences. If we let ourselves face fears and process them, we can use the energy that is contained within them to live life how we want.

Luckily, there's no magic trick to facing fears. They're actually right in front of our faces and waiting to be noticed, if we allow space in our lives for them. Start by opening the door that fear is knocking on and saying, "I feel scared of _____________."

Wants Can't Be Discovered in Worries

Despite any tricks your brain pulls, it can be helpful to remember that wants can't be discovered in worries. Worries masquerade inside our heads as being caring, ambitious, and more "on it." Are they really helping, though?

Worrying is the mind's attempt to exert more control over situations that feel uncertain or uncontrollable to us. With enough worry, we imagine we can tease apart the ultimate answers to life's problems and get what we want. The act of worrying ties up a lot of energy and potential that can be used in other ways.

Ever had an experience where something you want comes around when you're not constantly worrying about it? Life doesn't usually seem that concerned with our worries, and it may actually wait until the worrying subsides before opening new doors and opportunities. Worrying is easy and common to fall prey to. What's challenging is to step back from it and see what else the world is made of. Energy, adventures, uncertainties...not always bad uncertainties.

By worrying, we can focus so much on the unnerving side of uncertainty that we lose sight of the other shades of it. Would you want to keep watching movies that you always knew the endings to? With worries, we seek to know the ending right now before going through the meat of the experience itself. Trouble is, worrying doesn't exactly produce real endings or results, so it can leave us spinning our wheels instead.

Next time a worry is waking up with you, piggy backing all day, and snuggling up beside you at night, look at it in the face and ask, "What? What do you want from me?" Reducing its importance will help you remember what you want instead.

The Door to the Invisible

Imagine you're facing a door, and on the other side of that door is change. In order to move forward you have to open the door without really knowing what's on the other side. The change is invisible to you from where you're standing, and the only way to see it is by opening the door. Will you open it?

Often, doors to change become visible to us at times when we're ready for them. They're not always there, but when they appear they challenge us to make the next move of turning the knob and stepping through the threshold. When the door's there, it's hard to ignore it. It won't let you forget that there's something you have to face on the other side.

It can be tempting to ignore the unknown and stick to the familiarity of your side of the door. Besides, nothing's forcing you to make the change. However, by pretending the door isn't there, you can miss out on good opportunities and learning experiences. Even though you have no idea what's on the other side, that's okay. Important doors often lead to places where we've never been before.

Do you see a door you can open toward change? It could be in any area of your life such as personal growth, career, relationships, family, or health. If you're standing there contemplating whether to make a move, remember it's okay that you're not sure what's on the other side. But the door is there for a reason. Open the door to the invisible.

The #*!*?! Keeps Coming

During life, most of us hold our breath and wait for a time that finally feels calm and accommodating to who we are. Do you know the feeling? We work, try, and grapple, hoping that times will change and things will get easier. After small periods of calm, we're usually thrown back into the mix of stress and ups and downs. Just as you're waiting to get off an emotional roller coaster, life often buys you a ticket for a new one. What's that about?

The truth is, the #*!*?! keeps coming. The illusion that if you wait long enough or try hard enough, that all the messiness and frustrations of life will stop is just that--an illusion. So what do you do? A big part of living in and staying healthy in reality is coming to terms with the #*!*?! Keeps Coming phenomenon. None of us have a human-desired control over life. We live in a world that is wild no matter how we try and contain it. When you live in the wild, you have to prepare.

You prepare first and foremost by taking care of yourself. With the knowledge that storms, lightning, and droughts may be around the corner, you still have to keep up with physical and mental-emotional fitness as much as you can. Preparation helps you to get through new and stressful periods of time that you may not have foreseen (since we don't have crystal balls at our disposal).

You can also make more peace with the fact that #*!*?! Keeps Coming. Have you wanted it to be different? If so, in what ways? Ask yourself if the positive changes you're hoping for live in fantasy land or in reality. Reality tends to repeatedly present challenges with a common theme if we're ignoring the bigger picture. Unless we face the challenge head on here and now, we'll often be met with it again.

Finally, it's okay to step back and not try so hard all the time. Trying your best is admirable. However, some forms of trying resemble banging against a wall over and over again. No matter how hard you try, the wall is still there and you can't imagine it away. Try what you can and be open to adapting along the way to new strategies if you have to. Try with a clear, realistic, and flexible mindset.

#*!*?! Keeps Coming can be a relief in some ways. It lets you be a human in this wild world. It helps you to realize your limits as you're using your potential. Sure, maybe that one person is frustrating you. Maybe that one situation is difficult, but should it be all up to you to solve the conflicted interaction? The workplace is experiencing some tension. Why should it be your job to solve all of it? Ask yourself why you have to sit at home with all of the world's problems on your shoulders.

This week, notice how the #*!*?! Keeps Coming. Let it live and breathe in your life, so that it doesn't completely consume your days and weeks. As you come to terms with the persistent knocking of the #*!*?!, maybe finding solutions to all of life's problems will feel less important. Maybe living your day as it is will become more so.

No Such Thing as Perfect Health

Is there such a thing as perfect health?

Well, is there such a thing as a perfect person? The answer to both questions is:  NO. Human beings go through real life, real challenges, unexpected events, and uncertainty. During this lifetime, there is no such thing as perfect health.

The way health is depicted in the medical community and media can sometimes be misleading in this respect. You see perfect specimens of health running down the beach in a commercial or health magazine, and you're led to believe that every single day unfolds this way for truly healthy people. Commercials depict people who are happily on medications that bypass the need to look deeper into existing health imbalances. A woman eats a container of yogurt and her healthy weight and slim figure are set for eternity. While many of these tactics are marketing strategies, you still have to resist health propaganda out there in the world when the message doesn't fit you as a person.

Do you want to be a perfect person? Or would you rather approach yourself and your health from where you're at in life? This is a tricky question. It's undeniable that the shiny tune of the word "perfection" beckons each of us during life. Striving for it can lead to frustration, disappointment, and feeling stuck. Striving for perfect health is no different. Unless you approach your health from a realistic and approachable standpoint, it can always seem so far away, running away from you as you run toward it in its perfect fantasy form.

Ever heard of "wabi-sabi"? Wabi-sabi is the Japanese view that accepts imperfection as a form of beauty and balance. To acknowledge wabi-sabi is to see that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. By accepting the wabi-sabi in your health, in your personality, and in your life, you can really appreciate what makes your health and your life tick each day. You can also respect the journey that you take as an individual to feel health in your life amid the very real challenges that come your way. Your health has strengths and it has weaknesses, it has room to grow, and it's human just like you are.

Don't strive to put yourself and your health in a picture perfect bubble. In a bubble, you can't move around and you can't learn. When you take care of yourself outside of the bubble and still work toward health in an imperfect world and body, you're getting somewhere real. Here's to your wabi-sabi, and here's to your health!