Sunday, November 10, 2013

Wants Can't Be Discovered in Worries

Despite any tricks your brain pulls, it can be helpful to remember that wants can't be discovered in worries. Worries masquerade inside our heads as being caring, ambitious, and more "on it." Are they really helping, though?

Worrying is the mind's attempt to exert more control over situations that feel uncertain or uncontrollable to us. With enough worry, we imagine we can tease apart the ultimate answers to life's problems and get what we want. The act of worrying ties up a lot of energy and potential that can be used in other ways.

Ever had an experience where something you want comes around when you're not constantly worrying about it? Life doesn't usually seem that concerned with our worries, and it may actually wait until the worrying subsides before opening new doors and opportunities. Worrying is easy and common to fall prey to. What's challenging is to step back from it and see what else the world is made of. Energy, adventures, uncertainties...not always bad uncertainties.

By worrying, we can focus so much on the unnerving side of uncertainty that we lose sight of the other shades of it. Would you want to keep watching movies that you always knew the endings to? With worries, we seek to know the ending right now before going through the meat of the experience itself. Trouble is, worrying doesn't exactly produce real endings or results, so it can leave us spinning our wheels instead.

Next time a worry is waking up with you, piggy backing all day, and snuggling up beside you at night, look at it in the face and ask, "What? What do you want from me?" Reducing its importance will help you remember what you want instead.

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