Satisfaction in the Simple

We often seek satisfaction from the biggest and the best in life. We imagine that the bigger and better the experience, milestone, and reward, the more value it will add to our days. Then we look at a cat, happily preening herself in a sunny spot on the carpet, and we wonder how that small action can provide her such satisfaction. Is the cat weird, or are we sometimes out of touch with the satisfaction inherent in the simple?

Simple avenues of enjoyment are all around us, yet we often ignore them while chasing after the big stuff. Why? Sometimes we don't even know because bigger and better seems written into the trends of culture. But if you pay attention, you can feel the body and mind tugging at you to reward yourself with more simple moments like the cat does.

Instead of seeing it as a bummer when you don't have plans on a weekend, it's a perfect opportunity to relish in simple activities. If you enjoy cooking, pull out that unique recipe you've had stored away for months in a kitchen cupboard. Let the process of cooking and eating your food deliver as much reward as you imagine a "big" experience would.

If you want to try your own form of preening, soak your hands in warm water for 15-20 minutes, then massage lotion into them while watching T.V. or listening to music. You could do the same for your feet. Practice a new hair do for no reason at all, that no one will see but you. Re-arrange your closet and notice how your taste has changed over time. Write a short story, even if you've never done it before. Play piano or learn how to play. Make up a new song.

Daily activities like making coffee, washing the dishes, or walking the dog are all simple moments that offer not only satisfaction, but also an anchor during strange or stressful times. Just because you don't get a blue ribbon or trophy for creatively stacking the dishwasher doesn't mean it's an unimportant or useless part of your day. How you approach the simplest moments can influence how you approach other experiences in life, large or small.

This week, let yourself find satisfaction in the simple.

The Blank Page

Imagine pulling your resume up on the computer---and deleting it. Did your brain say "ouch" at the very thought of electronically crumpling up the piece of paper that claims to know everything you're good at and that you should be striving for?

The resume is a handy tool to get a job, and it's also a confining piece of paper that can spark feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, and dissatisfaction. Even without the paper itself, you can see "resumes" metaphorically in how they affect life.

Each of us has roles that we can pressure ourselves to perform perfectly, and sometimes unrealistically. The roles and tasks performed can become larger than the person. The person can drown in the resume. It can feel like nothing's ever enough.

Again, imagine deleting all the lines on the resume page. The lines that talk about being the perfect business person, parent, daughter or son, teacher, worker, student, athlete, human being, and so on. What's left?

A blank page. It may seem like just an empty page, but it stands for a lot more than that. It's potential, free and ready for you to use. How would you fill it if you didn't have to stick with 12-point font, employment history, years worked, qualifications, education, and skills?

There are probably things that you imagine doing from time to time, fleeting thoughts in your mind. Maybe after you imagine them, you're habitually used to scrapping them because there are more important things to do on your resume. Of course the resume is bible...or is it? Maybe you do have space to do the things you've imagined doing. As long as you do them your way. The blank page may not come with directions, but it frees you to go where you've never been.

Just because we use resumes, doesn't mean we have to become them. Try pulling out a blank page, and see what happens.

Wants Can't Be Discovered in Worries

Despite any tricks your brain pulls, it can be helpful to remember that wants can't be discovered in worries. Worries masquerade inside our heads as being caring, ambitious, and more "on it." Are they really helping, though?

Worrying is the mind's attempt to exert more control over situations that feel uncertain or uncontrollable to us. With enough worry, we imagine we can tease apart the ultimate answers to life's problems and get what we want. The act of worrying ties up a lot of energy and potential that can be used in other ways.

Ever had an experience where something you want comes around when you're not constantly worrying about it? Life doesn't usually seem that concerned with our worries, and it may actually wait until the worrying subsides before opening new doors and opportunities. Worrying is easy and common to fall prey to. What's challenging is to step back from it and see what else the world is made of. Energy, adventures, uncertainties...not always bad uncertainties.

By worrying, we can focus so much on the unnerving side of uncertainty that we lose sight of the other shades of it. Would you want to keep watching movies that you always knew the endings to? With worries, we seek to know the ending right now before going through the meat of the experience itself. Trouble is, worrying doesn't exactly produce real endings or results, so it can leave us spinning our wheels instead.

Next time a worry is waking up with you, piggy backing all day, and snuggling up beside you at night, look at it in the face and ask, "What? What do you want from me?" Reducing its importance will help you remember what you want instead.

Too Cool for School

In today's heavily social (media) world, sometimes a "Too Cool for School" craze catches on. What's "too cool for school?" You stop wanting to learn and experience life. Why? Because you're already being told what's "cool."

All of us are exposed to this phenomenon today over the internet, pads, phones, and myriad devices. It's worth challenging the net-like peer pressure to keep learning and discovering for yourself. Nothing against nets. After all, spiders use nets to catch food...just not other spiders. It's not easy to resist the pervasive culture. But your health and well-being benefits from wisely choosing how much you want to be involved.

Too cool for school tells you what's important to value. The more hits, the more news-worthy. The more likes, the more reliable. Is that how we really feel inside? That's a question for each individual to ask for his or herself. When it comes down to it, tweets, likes, hits, and thumbs up will never compare to solo and individual experience. Taste something and decide for yourself how you feel about it.

Even if a million people say it's worth following, it's okay to say you don't dig it. In fact, you'd probably rather go for a walk, write a story, or do nothing at all. The point is, you're not uncool just for having ignored it. Life is yours to live and learn through. Learning to filter all the stimulus available today to decide what's valuable to you makes a difference.

If you feel out of vogue, behind the times, not hip to it, or out of touch with the scene...maybe your mind and body are trying to tell you something? They're probably reminding you that you are cool for school. It's hip to be square.

If a Tree Falls and No One Hears It...?

The question goes, "If a tree falls and no one hears it, does it still make a sound?" I'll shake this question up a bit and ask, "If you experience or see something, and no one else responds to it---did it still happen?"

At one time or another, each of us faces a situation in which we strongly experience something that no one else responds to. Know the feeling? Without anyone else echoing what you saw or felt, you may wonder whether you imagined it all. Throughout life, it can be challenging to hold onto your true experience when you're getting the message from others that it's better or more convenient to dismiss it.

You're like the tree (without the falling part necessarily). The tree still falls even if no one is there to witness it happening. That's what's most important. In your own life when you go through something that's important to you, it bears the same significance regardless of whether other people acknowledge it or not.

It can feel frustrating to know your experience and then to doubt it because you feel alone there. The experiences you have that don't fit a formula or can't be categorized can feel like that the most. What's most important, however, is that it really did happen---for you. The tree doesn't care if anyone heard it fall or not. For humans, it's more complex than that. Still, we can learn from the tree in keeping the integrity of our experiences even when there isn't a witness to them.

This month, take in those moments that no one else but you responds to. If you make a joke and no one else laughs, you can still enjoy the joke for yourself. If you see or hear something crazy and there's zero reaction around you, remind yourself that the event still happened for you. If you see a hummingbird zip in front of your face, a lady bug appear on your clothing just when you need a little luck, or an unexplainable occurrence...it's okay if no one else is there to see it or react to it but you. Sometimes the coolest moments are like that.

The Door to the Invisible

Imagine you're facing a door, and on the other side of that door is change. In order to move forward you have to open the door without really knowing what's on the other side. The change is invisible to you from where you're standing, and the only way to see it is by opening the door. Will you open it?

Often, doors to change become visible to us at times when we're ready for them. They're not always there, but when they appear they challenge us to make the next move of turning the knob and stepping through the threshold. When the door's there, it's hard to ignore it. It won't let you forget that there's something you have to face on the other side.

It can be tempting to ignore the unknown and stick to the familiarity of your side of the door. Besides, nothing's forcing you to make the change. However, by pretending the door isn't there, you can miss out on good opportunities and learning experiences. Even though you have no idea what's on the other side, that's okay. Important doors often lead to places where we've never been before.

Do you see a door you can open toward change? It could be in any area of your life such as personal growth, career, relationships, family, or health. If you're standing there contemplating whether to make a move, remember it's okay that you're not sure what's on the other side. But the door is there for a reason. Open the door to the invisible.

Perfect: The Enemy of Good

Why is perfect the enemy of good? Think about it. The message of "perfect" is that you'll someday attain a status beyond which there's no point of trying, or learning, or growing. If you're perfect already, what's the point of interacting with life and getting something out of it?

"Perfect" tricks you into believing that there is a solution and an endpoint.  Do you think that any individual in the history of mankind created something unique by aiming for perfection? It seems to me that more innovative results came from casting perfection to the side in favor of creativity, autonomy, and doing the best you can. If you aim for perfection, you're placing yourself in a sterile bubble by default.

In a bubble of perfection, of course you can see the exact results you want to see in your health, social sphere, family, finances, and personal goals...by omission. You'll have to omit all the stuff that's not going perfect. What does this mean? You'll have to omit a part of yourself in order to reach perfection. Human beings aren't meant to strive for perfection, they're meant to adapt. By adapting to the world around us and the unique events we're each going through, we stay open to possibilities. Perfection doesn't leave room for possibilities. Why? Because it's too perfect.

Next time you're aiming for perfection, ask yourself what your mind, heart, and body are really rooting for. Are they seeking adventure? Are they seeking to break out of a bubble of certainty in order to taste what life is offering? Are they asking you to push yourself beyond previously held limitations to get to know yourself better and what you're really made of?

It doesn't help to seek answers outside of yourself and from other people. Is it worthwhile to get down on yourself because a bunch of people who don't even know you don't believe you can reach your goals? Who knows you better than yourself? These are questions to ask yourself when the dazzle of perfection starts glittering stronger than your true desires.

Perfect is the enemy of good. Remember that when you're asking yourself to jump out of your skin to be something you're not. Is the effort worth the risk?